She’s out! …but for how long?

When a Cuckoldress is out with one of her bulls, what’s an appropriate length of time for their visit?  An evening out, where she returns at the end of the night?  An overnight adventure – but at who’s place?  The entire weekend with her fuck buddy?  A vacation away with her lover?!

The answer is, yes.  Yes, to any or all of the above.  But Jinxy, that answer doesn’t make any sense! Explain yourself?  Ultimately the Cuckoldress needs to decide what length of time she wishes to spend with her guys.  In some cases, the bull is in charge, but most of the time it’s left up to the Cuckoldress to decide.  We occasionally like to get input from our cucks, see how he’d feel about us being gone for a certain period of time.  Honey,(guy of the day) asked if I wanted to stay over at his place tonight.  I’d love to, I can have a few extra drinks, not worry about coming back home so late… what do you think?  Obviously she’s letting you know what she wants to do.  She’s also asking YOU how you’d feel about it.  Believe it or not, cucky, most of the time we’re just as concerned about how you are doing with cuckolding as we’re concerned with ourselves.  (Sure, occasionally you find the woman that’s so wrapped up in herself that she cares about no one else…) If you’re not comfortable with a certain situation, speak up!  It’ll save some angst and hurt feelings later on.

I think a really important question to ask is, how long have you known this guy?  How does he treat the lovely Cuckoldress?  If it’s a first meeting I certainly would not stay overnight, but that’s just my rule.  If you’ve known the guy for months or even years, you know what kind of a guy he is.  Is he trustworthy?  Would he take care of the precious lady (in every sense of the word)?  If the answer is yes all around, then why not go with the flow?  Let her stay with him as long as she’d like!  She’ll periodically check in with you, probably tell you where she is exactly just in case you need her.

Aside from her being away from home and having fun, the cuckold’s mind will be in overdrive wondering what’s going on, waiting for any hint of an idea from her.  Sending cucky a text message or even a picture of anything from the night of fun with her bull will definitely have cucky ready to explode with excitement!  Pacing the floor, wondering exactly when his love will return so she can tell him all about her fun time.  Can’t you see how Cuckoldress spending a little time with her bull could benefit you both? ;)

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Talk of love and sharing.

Falling in love.  One of the best feelings in the world, right?  Knowing you’ve found a person that makes you swoon in ways you never thought you could…

What do you do when it’s not only your husband/boyfriend, but one of your bulls?!  A fuck buddy that has developed into something more?  Can you have a successful polyamorous relationship?  Sure, if you work hard at it.  Is it a good idea?  That’s entirely up to you and your guys.

Why am I even talking about this?

A woman asked if it is considered abnormal if she loves her bull.  Abnormal?  To what/whom?

There are so many different ways that cuckolding couples live their lifestyle.  Some want their bulls to be their physical fuck buddy only.  No emotions, just sex.  Physical pleasures.  Others want to have the romance, the attraction on multiple levels.  Chemistry.  They need to have feelings for the guy they’re about to fuck.  Who is to say that one way is right and the other is wrong?

A cuck and his Cuckoldress need to have great communication.  I’ve said that from the start.  If you’re not telling the other what you need, how can you make it happen?  How do you know if everyone is on the same page?  What if she wants the stud to come please her and then leave, but her cuck wants to see her starry-eyed over the man that can make her cum seven times in a half hour?  Some men could care less how she’s getting fucked, they just want to be cuckolded.  Others have really strong desires and fantasies on how they want this to play out.  Same goes for women, if they absolutely NEED that spark and courting before love-making, or if they simply want to find a guy and fuck his brains out then move on – she needs to be clear to her cuck.

Back to the original question.  Is it abnormal to love your bull?  Nope.  I would make sure your cuck knows how much you love HIM, too.  How happy you are with him, and that you two are so secure and brave enough to try adding other people into your sexual lifestyle.  It’s important to share that with him.  ;)

New year, new thoughts.

I read this blog post today.

Lots of them spoke to me.  I want to elaborate… now.

#1.  Stop spending time with the wrong people.  “If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.”  This one really hits with me right now.  We don’t have too many real-life friends, but the ones we do have are, let’s say, not very likely to drop everything and come hang with us.  Heck, even if we plan something out weeks in advance they rarely show up.  We’re both to the point of not offering and seeing when they will get around to talking to us again. =/  Why should I spend time wondering and worrying about if they’re coming over or when they’ll call?  We’ll just live our lives and if they want to be a part of it, they will. I just hope they don’t wait too long, or it may be too late.

#4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.  “Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.”  We work way too hard.  12 hour days or more, sometimes.  We’ve decided that we’re cutting back on some of our work.  We have deadlines, and we know what to do and when to do it.  Why half-kill ourselves if it isn’t bringing us anything extra?  We have talked about taking classes, whether it’s to further our education (I haven’t been to college), or maybe something fun like a dance class (I love to dance).  Maybe we join some kind of club.  Who knows?  It’s time to stop working so dang hard and to enjoy something for US.

#5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not.  “Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”  I hate when people are fake.  I hate pretending.  I love being myself.  Who am I?  Glasses-wearing, lover of fun socks, semi-health conscious, music loving, and so much more.  I am NOT a girl with fake tits, not someone that will pretend to be into your tiny cock, not going to get pregnant because you “fans” want me to, not doing this to make a quick buck.  This is my life that I am sharing, people.  Consider yourself lucky you’re allowed to see what you DO see.

#16. Stop being jealous of others. “Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  ‘What’s something I have that everyone wants?’”  I’m guilty of this.  I see girls doing so much less than me, that have so much popularity.  I realize I’m somewhat niche-based, and that people in the cuckolding community have probably heard my name once, or came across my 101 videos or my blog.  That should be enough for me. =)

#22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. “The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.”  Know what we did around Christmas?  Sat on our butts and watched Community.  Great show!  We didn’t think about work, we didn’t worry about the bank account, we didn’t worry about the phone not ringing (it barely rang around the holidays).  We just sat back and relaxed, and enjoyed our time together.  It was perfect.

#24. Stop following the path of least resistance.  “Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.”  I think that 2012 is the year I create some kind of foot site (even if it’s a blog of daily pics) and — finally write (one of) my book(s).

#30.  Stop being ungrateful.  “No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.”  I realize that I have some pretty awesome fans, some that have even acheived friend status.  I have an amazing family.  I am healthy, happy, and very lucky to have all that I do.  I need to say that more often.

In addition to my “resolutions” of losing a little weight/toning up, and the already-mentioned taking more time for ourselves, I guess this is it.  =)

Happy New Year!

No pressure, but can you just do it already?

What happens when you put too much pressure on something?  It usually explodes, or implodes, from my experience.  People are the same way; you put too much pressure on someone and they explode (get angry) or implode (have a breakdown).  How do you keep this from happening? Know your limits and boundaries.

Sometimes men that really want to live this lifestyle try to plot, plan, and scheme.  They want to do anything to get their woman to cuckold them!  They bring it up day after day, daydreaming of things to do or say or situations to put her in to get her to just do it. They don’t ask to hear her thoughts on it (or don’t try to listen to her viewpoint on the lifestyle), and they certainly don’t plan on dropping the matter ever!

Many cuckolds (or wannabe cuckolds) believe they have a submissive streak.  They want a dominant woman to control them in some way, shape, or form, and force them into being the little sub boi they know they are.  Problem is, they only think they are submissive.  Sure, they may WANT to be a sub and do things they wouldn’t normally do, but in reality they are trying to “top from the bottom”.  They want to force the issue or push it along at a fast rate, they aren’t trying to grow interest or make it enjoyable for both of them.  They simply want it to happen, and they want it NOW.

Guys, are you really getting anywhere pushing against this brick wall?  Or are all your efforts futile?

Why not try a different approach?  Respect your woman.  You want her to be in charge and take control, then you should be willing to step back and let her do this at her own pace.  Let her ask questions and get your honest response.  If you’re pushing she’s going to see this as something YOU want her to do, not something you would like for her to enjoy.  Cuckolding should be about her pleasure.  It should be about making sure she is sexually satisfied, but at the rate she wants to go.  She may have some real concerns about moving forward, and you should definitely address them in a sensitive manner.  If she says she’s worried about what this may do to your relationship, don’t scoff and say “Oh, that’s crazy. Nothing is going to happen!”  It appears as if you’re not taking her seriously.  How about instead, you tell her that you want to know what exactly she’s worried about, what she thinks might happen, and then you two discuss how you would react / fix the hypothetical situation. That lets her know that you’re not only listening, but you’re willing to work out this issue (or any issue) if it were to ever arise.

When she knows that you’re willing to put all of yourself into trying this out, she will become more relaxed. Help her to understand that you love her and only want the best for her, even if you can’t always be the one to give it to her. Agree to let this run at her pace, and that this will happen in her time.  You’ll find things might move faster than you had anticipated!

 

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Boring!

I realize that many times when people send negative comments or hate mail to me, they’re just trying to get me to respond so they know they’ve gotten to me.  This one, however, is a little different.  I’m sure this “anonymous” person means well, they were trying to give some constructive criticism, and that’s how it is received.  I’m not taking this in a hurtful manner.  I am simply writing and drawing attention to this one to get your feedback, people.  My readers and viewers, friends of cuckolding.  Here’s what the writer had to say:

“During your cuckolding video lectures, how about talking more about your personal experiences with hubby and bulls? It would be more interesting to hear you talk about real examples of your encounters behind the scenes so to speak.  The lecture format that you have been using was ok at first, but it’s too cold and impersonal…detached, antiseptic… boring.”

My question to you all is this.  Do you find the Cuckolding 101 videos boring?  What about these blog posts?  Are they “cold”?

I believe that people use these blog posts and the 101 videos for many different reasons, but I hope that most of the time they are sharing with their partner or friend/family member that wants to better understand what is going on; maybe it’s their introduction to the lifestyle! If you had never heard of cuckolding would you want to listen to one woman babble on about fucking another guy and enjoying his huge cock while her husband watched and felt humiliated? Sure, some of you would because you like that kind of thing, but look at it from a different angle.

Humiliation?! That’s a bad thing right?! Why is this woman happy to have humiliated her husband?, What a bitch! Some people are terrified of sexuality, or don’t really know how to talk about it. To jump from prudish behavior to being 100% open and not holding back is a huge leap, one that isn’t done without a lot of thinking and planning.  If you throw everything about this lifestyle to them at once, they will be overwhelmed and frightened.  Some of them will give up and not want to give it a second glance.  But if you take baby steps, talk to them in an open manner and really listen when they have questions, they respond much better.

I don’t see what I do as cold, clinical, or detached.  I’m just trying to help people understand.

What are your thoughts on the videos and blog posts?

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For the bulls – what is your “style”?

Bulls, thank you for being here.  You men are the reason cuckolding is so fun for us cuckolding couples!  Some of you are very new at this, and are looking for more information to really understand what you’re getting into.  This is a place where you can ask the questions you want the answers to, a place where you’ll get straight answers from any Cuckoldress, cuckold, and other bulls reading.

What I’d like to address today is the right “attitude”.  Generally speaking, all bulls are confident, some are even cocky.  Some bulls come at this as a dominant, looking to exert their power over the cuck and the Cuckoldress, turning them both into submissives.  Some bulls come into this only looking to interact with the Cuckoldress, being the one to take charge and show her a good time.  Other bulls have somewhat of a submissive streak (especially at first, when they’re not sure what to do or how to act in this situation) and want to be told what their Cuckoldress wants.

So… what’s YOUR style?  You’re not sure?  Well, I think you need to get some idea of it before you start having too many encounters.

The experienced cuckolding couple knows what type of bull they’re looking for.  After having enough encounters with the right and/or wrong kind of guy, they have an idea of what they would really like to have.  If you’re looking online, some women and couples even spell it out in their ads and online dating profiles. When you learn what your bull style is, you’ll have a better idea of what type of couple you match up with.

If you’re a submissive type, looking for the woman to tell you what she wants, but she’s also a submissive that wants her bull to take control, there could be a bit of aggravation, boredom, or any number of feelings… but the bottom line is, you probably won’t get a second chance.  If you’re an incredibly dominant bull, looking to take charge of both the cuckold and the Cuckoldress, but they’re not into being totally dominated, they probably wouldn’t want a second go-round either.  If you take the time to really find out what the couple is looking for and when you understand your “bull style”, you’ll be able to sort through the ones that don’t match with your personality.  Then you can focus on the ones that ensure you’re going to have a great time!

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First time bulls, start here.

I write about all things cuckolding.  The cuckold’s feelings, the cuckoldress and her feelings, what to expect, how to find guys, etc.  A couple months ago, I had a bull write to me, asking why there was so little information out there for bulls to read.  To quote him, “We seem to be the invisible ones in this lifestyle… The cuck has no pressure and the wife just gets to enjoy herself. Spare a thought for the poor bulls.   The bull has to be a porn star / sex god / therapist etc etc it seems and all the pressure is on him. Could you do a blog giving advice to bulls (1st time ones especially) and remember we are human with feelings, insecurities, needs, wants and not just robots who have sex on demand.”

While I slightly disagree with his statement, I do realize there is very little thought given to the bull’s feelings when it comes to my blogs and the 101 videos.  Here’s your request, friend.  Today I’m talking about bulls.

First timers, welcome! You have learned about the worlds of hotwifing and cuckolding, and now you want to explore… but where do you start?  I believe the answer to that question is finding your first couple to play with.  Whether you start looking online, in bars and clubs, or start with people that you already know, there are some things to consider.

When setting up a meeting with a couple, there are some very important things you need to find out… but even before that, you need to make sure you know what your answers to some of their potential questions may be.  The simple act of cuckolding is when one has sex with someone other than their partner/significant other, however many of these couples engage in additional fetishes.  Creampies, feminization, fluffing, domination, voyeurism, bondage, breeding, etc. Which of these fetishes are you OK with?  Which ones are you against participating in? Let’s say the couple likes having the cuckold watch – are you OK “performing” under those conditions? What about having sex without protection? Perhaps not with the intention of getting the Cuckoldress pregnant, but what if?  How about having the cuckold perform oral sex on you, are you up for that?   This isn’t being said to scare you away from ever being a bull, it’s said to make you really think about what you’re about to engage in.  If you jump in, no questions asked, you may end up in a situation where you are incredibly uncomfortable and aren’t able to follow through.  Know what you want to partake in and what you are completely against.  If there are some gray areas, it’s great to explore!  Just be sure that you’re very clear with the couple you’re about to become sexual with.  They understand what you want, you need to understand what they’re looking for too.

Many couples like to scout the bar and club scene to find potential bulls and sexual partners.  If that’s your style, you’ll probably have a lot of luck!  Many women in the hotwife and cuckolding scene wear an anklet on their right ankle.  Yes, some women in this lifestyle choose to wear it on their left ankle as well, but since there’s no right or wrong way to do this, I’m just stating what I see is the more common ankle to wear it on. Keep your eyes open and perhaps you’ll spot a Cuckoldress or Hotwife before she ever has a chance to lay eyes on you!  Also keep in mind that anklets are popular with nearly all women… so not every woman wearing one will be into this lifestyle and could end up being a very “plain” or non-kinky individual.

If you have a couple in your personal life that is approaching you to see if you’d like to share some encounters with them, I see this being a potential good or bad idea (or both).  On the one hand, it’s someone you already know and trust.  Perhaps you’ve always thought she was attractive and now you’ve got your chance to see what she’s like in bed! One big happy honeymoon, right?  It very well could be!  As long as everyone stays happy and things stay discreet (if needed).  Well, what happens if the sex is bad? If they’re wanting to take things to a level you’re not willing to go to?  What happens if things just start to fizzle out because you have your own personal relationship (with someone else) to tend to?  They could expose you to others in your circle of friends.  They could be spiteful and make things difficult for you since they were on such a close, personal level with you.

Online… it seems to be the easiest to begin, yet the most difficult actual encounters to make happen.  You find like-minded people on these adult dating websites or by placing ads online.  Talking with these people in multiple formats is imperative! After emailing, also get an instant messenger program to talk with them.  Perhaps they can switch on the webcam to show that they are the person they’re displaying in their avatar.  If you feel comfortable enough to go to the next level, a phone call is a good idea.  You have the chance to talk to the couple before ever meeting, asking those important questions and addressing the issues that came up earlier. If you feel comfortable, go ahead and schedule an actual meeting with them – coffee, drinks, a quick hello at the mall or in the park, whatever works out for you guys. Sex does NOT have to be on the agenda for this meeting (unless you’re all ready for it to happen).  Meeting face-to-face gives you the opportunity to make sure you’re 100% comfortable with them as a couple, to make sure all the ground rules and boundaries have been stated, and to see that they’re real and punctual and want this to happen just as much as you do!

Wow, after talking this long about how to find a couple to play with, I see that I do need to devote a few different blogs to the subject of first timers and new bulls.  We want our bulls to be just as comfortable as we are, right cuckolds and Cuckoldresses?  Good.

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