Not all relationships are created equal.

I tweeted something yesterday about doing some laundry, and one of the responses had me laughing.  “NOW I’m confused…don’t you have a cuckold husband to do those things for you!?” Well… I do have a cuckold husband.  Does that mean that he’s automatically expected to take care of the laundry? What exactly are “those things” to which you refer, housework? Daily mundane activities?

Not every cuckolding situation has one true Dom(me) and one true sub.  By that I mean, one may not be the Dom(me) in every aspect of the relationship.   Not every cuckold is expected to play housemaid while wearing a maid’s outfit, work two jobs, and then come home to take care of his Cuckoldress’s every need.  Some cucks really enjoy those tasks and will do them all as expected, with a smile and without a single complaint, but it’s not realistic to expect that to happen in EVERY relationship. Reality is, cuckolding isn’t something actively happening at every point during the day. Dom/sub life may be, but that’s in a way separate from cuckolding.  Same goes for feminization or role playing… it all has it’s time and place.

Truth be told, hubby is quite the Alpha — outside of the “bedroom” activities.
I don’t mind taking a backseat to his brilliance.
Besides… I like the laundry to be done MY WAY. It’s just easier. ;)

Stumbling across these things.

I love message boards and forums.  I especially love cuckolding message boards and forums, but I do frequent other boards (like FreeOnes).

Just the other day, someone asked a question to all “Male and Female Porn Performers”.  Of course I opened the thread – I wanted to see what this person was so curious about!

Here’s the gist of it:  If it’s OK for you, as a performer to be sexually involved with other people, is it OK for your partner to do so as well? Don’t use the “It’s my job” excuse either.

Cuckolding couples don’t really look at this question the same way that others might.  In most cuckolding relationships, the cuckold ONLY wants to be sexual with his Cuckoldress.  Many Cuckoldresses don’t want their cuck to get sexually involved with other women.  Sure, some go the route of feminization of their cuckold or forced-bi, making them less attractive as a “man” and less masculine, but that’s not every couple.

Some might call this one-sided swinging – the lady can have whomever she pleases, whenever she pleases.  The guy, well, is only able to be with his woman IF and WHEN she says so – which most likely isn’t going to happen anyway.

For some reason, guys (on a porn message board, no less) can’t seem to wrap their head around it.  They are of the “it isn’t fair!” mentality, and vow not to have a relationship like this because why should the GIRL get to have all the fun? Why should the GUY get forced to sit on the sidelines?

Even though most of the girls on the message board aren’t in what they consider cuckolding relationships, not all of them have partners that also play with other sex partners.  Are their men mad about it? Upset?  Nope.  They understand that this comes with the territory… it may be their “job”, but in the end they got the girl.  :)

Just some thoughts from me today.  ;)

Why do you deserve it?

I was going through my emails (catching up because I’m SO behind!) and saw something that perked my ears up.  ((Ok, not literally, you know… my ears are attached and don’t really move that much.))

The writer tells me:
“I am sure that I am cuckolding material whether you base this on size, performance, attitude, or anything else. I really feel that my wife is a very sexual woman who must be frustrated.”

That got me thinking…

YOU may see yourself and your situation like this, but does your lady?  Maybe she does, and doesn’t realize it?

The only way to really get the ball rolling is to start bringing it up.  Perhaps you go the route of her sexuality and sexual frustration (if there is any). Of course in the beginning she may deny being sexually frustrated.  She may really want sex more and more, and just be afraid to initiate or maybe she has a few toys and takes care of business herself.  If she wants more, give her more… but instead of YOU, perhaps you use those toys or even venture out to buy her new ones?  Something bigger, maybe? Perhaps a different color?

If you start to discuss this by bringing up your “shortcomings” – haha – then you’ll have to understand she may have many conflicting feelings or thoughts.  Sure, she may have had bigger men than you in the past.  Men that lasted longer.  Men that were more dominant.  Does that mean she wants a man like that all the time?  No, silly… why else is she with you?  Get her to see that talking about your penis size isn’t because you want her to tell you how big you are… you know you aren’t the biggest, and you’re OK WITH IT.  You know you don’t last that long, and you’re concerned that SHE isn’t getting the sexual satisfaction she rightly deserves…

Bringing these conversations around to HER pleasure is important.  After all, cuckolding is about the woman’s sexuality, right?

Well, what does it for ya?

I was on the FreeOnes message board in a new thread about cuckolding, and a question just kind of hit me… (ouch!)   I wanted to ask it here to see what kind of feedback I get.  I may have asked a similar question before, but I believe I’m wording it somewhat differently this time.

When a guy says that they enjoy watching cuckolding porn, or that they think the idea of cuckolding is “interesting”, I can’t help but wonder… do they think it’s interesting because they want their lady to turn into a Domme-type and force them into certain situations they wouldn’t otherwise put themselves in?  Or, do they simply want the reality of watching their woman with another man, enjoying herself and not including some of the humiliating factors?

Sure, this could turn into a hotwifing VS cuckolding type question, but I think that those that truly have an interest in cuckolding enjoy some level of the humiliation.  If it’s knowing they’re not enough to satisfy their woman due to size or stamina, if it’s knowing she’d rather force him to suck cock than to let him inside of her, if it’s the desire to be put into a chastity device for the duration of her sex with someone else or at the length of time she desires… just — what is it?

What turns you on about cuckolding, and which type do you prefer?   The soft and sweet, her truly enjoying the pleasures of another while you watch or listen?  Or the rough-and-dirty with possible bisexual or submissive behaviors?

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gay, straight, bi-talk.

Gay. Being gay.  What does it mean?  The obvious definition is homosexual (sexual desire or behavior directed towards one or multiple people of one’s own gender).

When I get emails from true or wanna-be cuckolds asking if the desire to perform clean up (licking/cleaning cum from their Cuckoldress – or her Bulls) makes them gay, I laugh a little.  No lie, I do.  Sorry if that bothers you!

Wanting to eat cum or perform clean up by itself does NOT make you gay, folks. That’s simply another fetish in itself.  Liking the clean up doesn’t make you gay either! What DOES make someone gay or bisexual is the desire to have sexual encounters and experiences with those of the same gender (or both genders, in the case of bisexuality).

Many cucks that like clean up would never imagine doing anything with the Bulls that please their lady, including fluffing or cleaning the Bull up after sex.  The thought of any interaction with a Bull is a total turn off for these cucks.  These cuckolds are certainly not gay.  Cucks that like clean up but that also enjoy the interactions with Bulls may be bisexual or have bisexual curiosities. Does this make them gay?  No, because they still desire sexual encounters with their Cuckoldress.

Are there gay cucks?  Yes.  Are those cucks involved in heterosexual relationships?  Not really.  I mean sure, there are men who are cuckolded and have no interest in anything sexual with their Cuckoldress, that desire to have sexual encounters with men.  Those men ARE gay cuckolds… but personally I don’t see that as being emotionally involved in a heterosexual relationship.  They may still be married or attached to their Cuckoldress to keep up appearances, but that may be the only real involvement.

I also want to go on record and say there are homosexuals that partake in cuckolding relationships, whether it’s a female couple or a male couple.  I’ve spoken with both types!  Homosexual couples get just as much out of cuckolding as heterosexual and bisexual couples, and even go through the same types of struggles.

Back to the topic though, enjoying a fetish such as clean up does NOT make you gay.  Desiring sexual encounters with someone of the same sex as yourself – DOES, or at least makes you bi-curious.  Hope that clears up some confusion.

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Insecurities…

Insecurities in cuckolding are quite common, mostly for the cuckold.  There are so many different reasons to be insecure!  Your lady is going out to find a hot man to fuck because you can’t please her at all, or she’s just insatiable – you aren’t enough for her!  Perhaps you’re too feminine, a sissy cross dresser.  No wonder she doesn’t even want to see you naked!  If you were man enough she wouldn’t need the others, right?

Some things you shouldn’t be so insecure about, though.  You need to be 100% certain, absolutely positive that you want to start a cuckolding lifestyle before you ever bring it up.  It’s so hard to go backwards once you’ve started down this path.

You should be sure of your personal feelings regarding the subject.  Why do you like the idea of cuckolding?  Have you done it before?  If so, on what levels?  Will you share some of your experiences?  Some cucks (or cuck wannabes) are too afraid to even talk about the subject of their fantasies.  They’re too busy dreaming about how it would be  AND being afraid of it, to want it to truly happen to them.

So here’s a question… why hide it? When you meet a woman for the first time and have some interest in her, why hide this side of you? I’m not saying be rude with it (“Oh, hi.  Are you the type of woman to fuck men that she’s not in a relationship with just for satisfaction? If not, then I’m sorry we can’t get to know each other“)… I’m saying when the time comes to talk about sexual fantasies or even past relationships, why try to keep this side of you hidden?  You want to be a cuckold.  Perhaps you have been cuckolded in the past. Don’t talk about it as a negative thing (“My ex girlfriend had so many other men while we were together, and never had sex with me” “Oh you poor thing! What a horrible woman she was to you!”) — try to bring it up as a positive (“My ex girlfriend had so many other men while we were together and never had sex with me, but I thought it was incredibly hot and she always talked to me about her experiences afterwards. We had such a great time talking about her times with these other men, it turned both of us on!“) .  The longer you keep this a “secret” or hidden, the harder it may be to finally talk about it.  Then you may also have to deal with her feeling like you weren’t completely truthful, or that you were even dishonest.

It’s always best to say it, even if it’s difficult.

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Hey, it’s June!

In Jinxyland, that usually means it’s FETISH MONTH!

…usually.

That’s right folks, I’m not gonna do one this June.

Why?  Well, for multiple reasons.  One, sometimes the fetish stuff gets completely ignored, whether it’s the stuff that gets put on Jinxypie.com or if it’s the blogs or if it’s the Cuckolding 101 stuff.  Secondly, fetish month requires a good bit of research to pick discussion topics and learn about them (enough to tell other people about it).  I haven’t really had much time to breathe lately, much less do research and write on these topics. =(  Thirdly, I’m just not sure it’s worth it anymore… that may sound stupid or sad or whatever, but why even put forth the effort?  The only thing that has ever seem to come from any of the fetish month stuff is those interested in the balloon fetish contacted me to see if I’d make some videos.  (That was 2 years ago… and I recently got the time to make some more balloon fetish videos.)

This doesn’t mean I will NEVER do another fetish month.  It doesn’t mean I will never talk about fetishes related to (and not related to) cuckolding.  It just means that June 2012 is not fetish month.  It’s just another month to talk about cuckolding and to do pictures, videos, blogs, and vlogs like normal.

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