Do I make you horny? Or just uncomfortable?

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Why do we tend to destroy things we can’t comprehend?  Is it fear?  Ignorance?  Because we don’t understand something, it’s perfectly acceptable to some folks to condemn and hate what’s different, or what doesn’t necessarily live up to their standards. A lot of time people do it without even thinking – its an automatic responce. Even those who are open minded can react, then look back and see their mistakes in judgment. I do this and so does most everyone else at some point or another.

We have the ‘fight or flight’ instinct.  When you hear that term, you generally think about scary or life-threatening situations, you don’t think about it in simple everyday life.  You come across a video of a cute girl, talking about something you have never heard of but you are curious to learn the meaning of.  You hit “Play” and – what IS this stuff?? Has she LOST her MIND?!? What about her husband?? You mean he’s compliant with this debauchery!??  No, no, no, NO!  This is WRONG!  It goes against everything I’ve been taught about how life is supposed to work!  Now the key moment… do you navigate away from the page?  OR, do you decide to defend your stance on the subject (even though your opinion wasn’t necessary)?  Because by saying nothing, you feel that you’re condoning these actions…?

Sure… that may be a bit extreme, but it happens almost every day.  Not just in my life, either.  I get “attacked” or berated  all the time because people think what I do is wrong.  Almost every word rolls off my back, I don’t buy in to their negativity.  :)  I do get lots of messages from people asking why I put up with this, and why is everyone coming after me. I don’t see it that way most of the time, unless it’s just blantant threats or attacks. Most of the time I am pretty easy going. I know that this is reality and in it some people just have problems with others. It can be something they were taught or just came into but I try not to judge them back as they most likely have a reason for being this way. 

My point is, people are really quick to get offended or upset at ideas or situations they don’t understand.  Things they have no control over, something that doesn’t involve them a bit – yet they feel the need to speak up on the situation.  If it’s something they don’t agree with they feel the need to lash out.  For some it is hard to accept the fact that not everyone lives the same lifestyle or has the same likes and dislikes.  Would you shun someone for preferring dogs as pets over cats?  What if they chose to cut their hair really short or dye it a bright pink?  Perhaps one  would like to become a vegetarian! Would it matter to anyone?  Of course not, those are personal choices.  A persons choice to do something has no real effect on you…  Right? 

So in trying to better understand, I ask why do people get so upset by the fact that I am a Cuckoldress?  It is because we’re talking about something sexual? Does the taboo nature of particluar fetishes cause people to want to speak out more? They feel this is more important than what type of hairstyle I prefer?

Sometimes I can see why the cuckolding community is so small, or comprised of many that are only living out fantasies.  If you’re real about what you choose to do in your sexual life you risk ridicule.  Resentment. Confusion. It’s easier to live in a fantasy world than to put yourself out there “in real life” and get hurt. 

Why would would you put yourself or your spouse on the line?  I know that when I started to learn about this lifestyle, I was concerned.  It seems that out of everything I would read (Wiki articles, message boards, and one blog in particular), most of it was fantasy.  Only ONE piece of REAL information, real life accounts of this lifestyle, came from the blog.  After a lot of thought, and realizing that my cuckolding experiences wouldn’t be just like everyone else’s, I chose to start a blog of my own.  Not telling people how to live their life, or how to live my lifestyle, but basically just telling our story.  Where we come from, what we want to do… we’re just two people in this world, telling our tales.  There is so very LITTLE helpful information out there on cuckolding, and if I could give some random person a little clarity, what’s the harm?  Turns out, this blog is gaining popularity.  People come here to get some real information on cuckolding, or other opinions on the lifestyle they’re interested in.  Cuckolding itself is also gaining popularity, and having a few reliable resources out there to lean on is a much needed reality.

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A guide for hotwives – some general advice from Jinxypie

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“Where can I meet a hotwife like you?” “ How do I know if a lady is approachable?” “ How can I let guys know I’m open for flirting and more?”   I hear questions like this all the time, from both men looking for a hotwife and from the ladies trying to get “out there” and find her bulls. 

Something many people in the “know” of the cuckolding lifestyle will look for is, simply, an anklet on the woman’s right ankle.  This is supposed to signify that a woman is open to being approached about sexual encounters.  Something I have to stress to people is, anklets are a fairly popular jewelry choice in recent times.  One shouldn’t judge a  woman to be a hotwife on anklet alone!  Many women wear them because they’re pretty, not because they are even aware of what a hotwife is.  Men need to look for other clues and cues before proceeding.

What else can you do to signal to guys that you are looking for a fun time?  Confidence.  Flirty attitude.  Eye contact.  Body language.  MANY things can signal that you’re fun and open to new encounters.  I personally believe that eye contact and body language are the major ones, followed by confidence and being flirty.  If you’re out – either alone or with a group of friends – at a bar or club, you don’t want to be standing against the wall sipping a drink and hiding your face from everyone.  Guys generally don’t pick those ladies to chat with because it seems she doesn’t want to be there anyway.  If you do happen to be standing against the wall, why not sway with the music?  Look around and smile at the guys?  Don’t cross your arms, but dance a little bit?  Or walk around the room making eye contact and saying hello.  You never know what guy will stop you and start a great conversation.  Many of us think we lack the confidence or ability to flirt, but there’s always the old saying “fake it until you make it”… be in character, pretend you’re the hottest woman in the room!  ;)  

That all sounds like general advice, and it practically is.  But you’d be surprised how many hotwives or cuckoldresses don’t really understand how to work the bar or club scene!  We find our men in the most random places, or online, because it’s easier to have men coming to us than it is to have to put ourselves out there and face rejection.  If we keep putting ourselves in the same types of situations, we’re bound to find the same types of men.  (Same for you guys, if you keep looking for women in the same places, how do you expect to find a different type of woman?)  It’s best to put yourself out there in other ways, go to bars or clubs occasionally, or try a new dating website.  You never know what types of people you can come across until you make yourself available to them in that manner.

Ladies, if you’ve been on dating websites for any length of time you’ll find out that there are a TON of men that are all talk and no action.  There are men in real life that are the same way… big talkers, but that’s about it.  When it comes to getting with a woman they’re clueless.  How do you spot them and distinguish between the fakers and the real genuine guys?  From my experience, the fakers tend to be the quickest to claim they have “exactly what you’re looking for” or “the biggest and the best”.  I’ve heard a lot of “Come on over here baby, let me give you what I’ve got!  You won’t need to look anywhere else.”  They’re also the ones that don’t want to commit to an actual date or time to meet up.  Then you have guys that will commit to a date, only to reschedule on you three or four times.  Usually with me, they get three strikes.  Not only when it comes to rescheduling, I factor in EVERYTHING.  Did they send the info or pictures I asked for? Are they decent at replying to my emails thoroughly? And yes, I even evaluate on grammar at times.  Oddly enough, the guys that start off sensibly with their name (real or fake, you never know) and telling you a little about themselves tend to be the guys that are more serious, more genuine.  Sure, it may not always work out with them, but at least you can both go your separate ways knowing there are others dealing with the same struggles as yourself. 

I know that a lot of this suggests pushing people outside of their comfort zones, and I would never recommend pushing yourself so far past your limits that you’re upset or scared or possibly can’t come back from.  Testing the lines, your self-imposed limits can be fun, especially if you know ahead of time exactly what you’d like to experience.  Ever told yourself you don’t want to be with a person more than 10 years older than you?  What happens when the hot guy you’re chatting up happens to be 12 years your senior?  Would you completely blow it off because he passed that imaginary line you drew?  Doubtful… you’d probably still pursue it.  But if the guy was 22 years older than you?  That may be when you’d enforce your own rules.   Or if you tell yourself you won’t be having sex with a group of people, but you end up getting cozy with 2 folks at the same time… would you stop? Or would you go forward with the threesome?  That’s up to you, your comfort levels, and the rules you want to enforce.  Just know what your limits are, what you absolutely will draw the line at.  If necessary, discuss those lines and limits with any friends or partners so they can help you to stay true to them.  Don’t ever go further than you’re willing to. 

Ladies, if you’re trying to find more partners and make yourself more approachable as a hotwife, you may want to consider getting an anklet to wear!  Then of course, being more flirty and confident as you are in situations around guys you may desire.  Know what to look for in terms of being ‘all talk’ and know what you’re not willing to go through just for a fun encounter.   It’s all about YOUR fun, after all!

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My new project

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For months now, I’ve told you all that I was working on an informational site related to cuckolding.  AskJinxy.com is a division of that, I guess you could say.  This is basically everything that I’m touching (in both the literal and metaphorical sense).  More will be added to this as time goes on, like a “FAQ” section (in blog style) updated with questions sent in to me, and actual explanations of cuckolding for male and female viewers.  Things have continued to grow over here, so I’m only able to allot so much time per week to these projects. 

AskJinxy.com

Do you like the intro to the site?  I’m a big fan of it. We had to do that picture a couple different times, just to get it right.  We’re perfectionists like that… A couple of things I wanted to point out, there is a way to contact me through AskJinxy.com just as there is through any of my sites.  Instead of being called Contact, we actually called the page “Ask”… fitting, right?  =)  You can find links to call me here, or use the expedited or regular contact form for your questions or comments.  You will also find a Reviews section here.  Right now, there is a review for a device called the Advanced Clitoral Pump.  Interesting product!  I plan on putting website reviews here as well, not just sex toy reviews.  Do you have a suggestion for a site I could review?

Probably the biggest draw to the site is the events page.  Wonder what I’m up to?  Where I’m going or what events I’m taking part in, either as participant or spectator?  Then this is the place to look.  Right now, there are two events listed.  I’ve joined forces with Just For Pleasure, an adult store in the Charlotte, NC area, and we’re taking cues from the customers.  Many times over, people ask how to spice up their sex life… what can they do to make their sex more exciting?  Or, they have many questions and curiosities about oral sex – how can I make sure I’m doing it right?  I’m scared to try it, how can I get started easily?  Those are the first two classes that will be presented.   One is coming up 28 July, and the other will be scheduled at a later time.  The classes aren’t related to cuckolding, they are for anyone, so don’t think that we’ll ONLY be talking about cuckolding topics.  The goal is to help couples, or individuals, open up and get comfortable talking about sex and sexuality.  What better place than in an adult novelty store! ;)

Since launching AskJinxy.com, I have been checking the analytics every day, hoping I can reach people from near and far.  Since we’re doing events in North Carolina, I have hoped for more traffic from my fair state… alas, it’s just not happening yet.  Give it time, right? =)

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The end of fetish month – Denial and Chastity

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(Yes, I know this is late… cut me some slack!)

Imagine, having the most insane amount of horniness, and not being able to get off.  Sounds horrible, right?  I know for me, I can’t stand much teasing and foreplay before I just want to get right to it!  But for some people, being denied and forced into an aroused state is much more exciting than actual acts of sex or even orgasm. 

Denial comes in many forms, but is basically grouped in a “short term” or “long term” category.   Most of the popular fetishes are related to short term denial.  Long term denial can supposedly have a term limit of “indefinite” but people who go that route usually incorporate prostate milking into their activities.  Many folks choose to play with short term denial (and that term is relative to the person – 3 weeks may seem like an eternity to some but may be incredibly short to others), due to the fact that prostate milking takes practice and is sometimes a lengthy process. Some people would rather not fool with it, so they just let their cuck out weekly or every few weeks so he can masturbate, then get back in his chastity.  Personally, I love playing with this fetish.  It’s a total feeling of control and power when you can tell your cuck is aching for release and you can deny him, or let him have his orgasm.  The cuck feels an overwhelming sense of submissiveness at that point, because he practically had to beg for what he wanted.  He isn’t going to dare to do this on his own, he will be given permission from his beautiful lady first.  In getting what he wants, he may have the feelings of dread, wondering when she’ll be giving enough to let him cum again…

In cuckolding, many cucks are denied just on principle.  After all, their woman is having sex with other men, so she’s not keeping her pussy only for him.  Why would they be allowed access to the same things they had in a “standard” relationship?  The WOMAN is in charge, little cucky can do as he’s told and only hope to catch a glimpse of his lady in the nude!  Not being able to see his wife or girlfriend naked, or obviously not being allowed to have penetrative sex with her happen to be two popular forms of denial, that I personally use.  It’s such a fun game to Cuckoldresses, we can tease and taunt our cucks with just the hint of skin, or lay in bed stark naked and have hubby or boyfriend know he can only wish to be inside of you!  If hands start to roam we can always threaten to put some clothes on (ha!).  But above all else, I believe the most popular type of denial all-around is chastity.

There are so many different types of chastity belts and devices on the market.  Before buying one, some real research needs to be done.  We have purchased a few different kinds, but none of them are very good at keeping him locked up.  Most end up being too large or not made to be tight enough, and he can slip out.  Frustrating, but sometimes you have to try and fail to know what works.  I always read reviews and try to find people that have used the same products so I can get honest feedback on those types of items.  Of those we did try, one was an actual leather belt type that I absolutely did not like, but the rest were the CB types… CB-3000 I think?  Still, not enough to keep him locked away, he could get out of the back of it.  We had talked about buying the points of intrigue (I believe they are called) to prevent this, but that just kind of fell to the wayside.  Maybe we’ll play around with chastity again in the future. ;)

If a guy is locked in chastity, then he’s (obviously) unable to masturbate.  In many cases, they’re also unable to get very hard due to the device they’re wearing.  How humiliating must that be?  So aroused but scared to get very excited because of the pain they expect to feel if they do.  Makes you feel like less of a man, right?  What if your lady makes you wear the device 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?  You’re NEVER allowed a second for release!  What if you needed to go see your doctor and she forgot to unlock you?  What if you were ‘figured out’ at work?  How exciting and scary would that be?    

Men also really enjoy having the ability to get off at a moment’s notice.  Taking that away from them by putting them in chastity is quite the dominant act.  They get it in their heads the idea of pleasing their lady in hopes she’ll show mercy and unlock the chastity long enough for them to take care of business.  They become quite submissive at that point!  Think you have him wrapped around your finger now?  Ladies, you have no idea the things he’d be willing to do!  Wear lingerie – clean the house – watch the children so you can have a night out of the house – buy you that cute outfit you’ve had your eye on AND the matching shoes and purse.  Now, I’m not saying that to degrade men or to tell ladies ‘here’s the secret of getting what you want!’… this is more of a realization.  You find something they want worse than air.  Take it away.  The possibilities are near endless of what he’d be willing to do for just 20 seconds of touching his cock.  I know my husband has done many things, just to get the chance to masturbate, and sometimes so I would talk to him while he jerks off.  Sometimes getting caught up in fantasy land (mental images) is much hotter than anything we could go through in actuality.  I’m not the only woman that’s experienced the benefits – I’ve had quite a few ladies email with their stories.  Many (if not all) of them would honestly admit to never realizing how much fun they could have by denying their man of their body, or HIS body. 

Chastity isn’t just for cuckolding couples.  I’ve spoken to a few different men about their desire to be put in chastity, with different responses from each guy.  One guy is voluntarily locked up because his wife wants to make sure he never develops a masturbation problem.  No plans to enter the cuckolding lifestyle, this is all about calming her fears and for him, enjoying the time in chastity.  Very noble of him, I think.  Another husband plans to introduce his woman to the idea of cuckolding by first introducing her to chastity.  Once she gets used to the idea of having her pleasure (through toys, etc) while he has none, she may be more open to the idea of cuckolding.  I think this is a very smart way to play it, helping her to wrap her head around the thoughts of being with others while her hubby gets none.  See?  Chastity isn’t only for us freaky people! Couples are looking to enhance and better their marriages with this fetish, in their own way.

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Fetish Month Blog 6 – Creampies

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A few months ago, I approached the topic of cream pies, how it differed from the term clean-up.  I actually started to understand how more people tend to look at the fetish from that blog entry.  Many of you either dabble in the fetish, or you would like to and just haven’t yet. 

The thoughts of actually tasting one can either repulse or arouse a cuck – or even both feelings.  For a guy that’s never experienced it, he’s much more leery of actually performing clean up.  It’s a total head game for him.  While he may crave being submissive to his sexy Cuckoldress, just knowing what he’s actually doing – cleaning up another man’s cum from his woman – can sound outright disgusting.  That’s why for those that say they’re somewhat interested, I encourage them to think about what makes it appealing to them, for them not to focus on the parts that make them squeamish.  You’re able to experience the desired end result for cuckolding relationships – oh, how many cucks envy you!  Is clean up humiliating?  Perhaps… but that’s a huge part of cuckolding.  We’ve already discussed humiliation, though. ;)

Something that has surprised me was the number of guys that wanted to know MY feelings during the act of creampie or clean up.  Up until I was asked, I didn’t really give a second thought to what I was thinking – ya know?  I mean, I was in that moment, living it… but what did they expect me to say?  To think?  To feel?  I really sat down and put some deep thought into it.  And as usual, my exact thoughts and feelings may not match any other Cuckoldress.  First of all, I love how it feels to be with someone I trust enough to have them go bareback, then it gets even more exciting if they cum in me.  I feel like a real woman, I’ve been given exactly what I deserved – a man inside of me, leaving quite the perfect present!  And when it comes to clean up, I’ve grown to love the feeling of power and control.  The oral sex is always nice, but that’s beside the point. (ha!)  I like to be the one in charge of “after sex” activities.  I either want to taunt him and tease him, or give him a “reward” for making sure that I’m well taken care of and happy.  And isn’t any time spent with his favorite Cuckoldress a reward?  Maybe I’m forcing cleanup after being with my guy, or maybe I’m lying back telling him about one of my encounters and he’s masturbating.  Either way, I’m the one in control of it, controlling his pleasure or his denial.  Having the desire to be dominant isn’t something I imagined I would love, but by golly it’s something I am glad I am getting in to! 

Since we all have our different viewpoints on every situation, what we may deem normal, others may believe is unusual or just plain wrong (and vice versa).  It’s all about perception.  Think about it, when it comes down to it someone could make the act of sex sound incredibly disgusting!! If you have absolutely no desire to partake in creampies or clean up, don’t think that you’re selling your experience short.  It’s not for everyone, no matter how hard others try to push this idea.  Do what’s best for YOUR relationship. =)

That being said, what are your feelings on creampies?  What about clean up?  Do you have the desire?

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Fetish Month Blog 5 – Fluffing.

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When I hear the term fluff, I don’t automatically think sex.  Well, that thought previously wasn’t my first.  But here lately… LOL.  You think of fluffing a pillow or marshmallow fluff (YUMMY!), or something completely non-sexual.  What exactly IS fluffing?

In the cuckolding world, the fluffer is usually the cuck.  He will either orally or manually stimulate the bull that’s servicing his wife or girlfriend.  He may also help orally and manually arouse his Cuckoldress, but this term is mostly related to acts on the males. 

It’s safe to say that not every cuckolding couple is into the fluffing fetish.  Some bulls may not like the idea of some wimpy guy – or any guy, giving them oral sex.  Or, perhaps the Cuckoldress has no desire to see her cuck orally pleasing her lover, no matter how humiliating it would be to him.  A cuck’s mission is to give their lady anything she desires.  We all have our limits, so maybe your cuck’s line is drawn at oral sex with other men.  What I’m trying to say is no matter how common it may seem, fluffing happens less often than you’d think.  Unless you work in a pornography studio that caters to cuckolding clips. ;)

For those that enjoy this fetish, it can add a much deeper level to your relationship.  Whether it is to bring on more humiliation, or to show your dominance over your wimpy cuck-boy, or even to let him satisfy a few of his bicurious tendencies, those that have an interest in fluffing definitely try to add and expand on it as much as possible.  For me, I love having control and power.  When I turn up the Cuckoldress-ness (like my word there?  I do.)  I want my cuck to basically worship and adore me, doing every last thing I ask and acknowledging my role as his Woman, and him as my little cuck.  I wouldn’t want him to hesitate if it came down to fluffing a bull to get him ready for me. 

This fetish is fairly simple and straightforward.  You have your basic definition.  You may be into it, you may not be.  So, the question is – are you into it?  :)

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