JUST JINXY

Watching or hearing about my wife having sex with other men is better than porn. I don’t know who said it, but I believe it. It is so much more personal than porn and makes sex with her afterwards that much more exciting. But in that regard I differ from some other cucks. I’m not interested in chastity or erotic sexual denial. I wanna get mine too, even if mine are sloppy seconds.

I’m not sure about the whole humiliation scenario. I don’t want to be insulted or humiliated by my wife or her lovers so much as I want to watch – that’s hard and hot enough! I’m also confident with my size and performance, so that has never been an issue. There have been instances where my pride was shaken, but usually it pertained to my wife doing a specific act with another man that she doesn’t or wouldn’t normally do with me or has only done with me in the past. Even that however only serves to make it more exciting in the long run.

As far as being submissive goes, in my case my submissive tendencies are focused strictly upon her. I don’t think I would be able to take commands from her lover, but I would certainly respond to her demands accordingly. I’m very turned on by powerful, in-control women, but there is a clear difference to me between that and a woman who is just cruel and abusive. Otherwise, on an everyday basis, I act like any other guy. Whether at work or at play or just chilling with friends, I can be just as loud and pompous and pig-headed as the next guy. I guess it’s the power exchange that is most provocative for me, being taken out of my element and challenging my comfort zone.

(1) I love not just the idea, but the reality of watching my wife with other men or hearing about her with other men when I’m not present. Her pleasure gives me pleasure.

(2) Humiliation’s not easily understood (find the reference there!). For our situation it’s been talked about but she’s not particularly into it as she doesn’t want to view me in a negative light. I would be fine with it if she liked it, and would probably enjoy it, but it’s not a critical component.

(3) My wife is a very dominant personality most of the time, though she also likes to be submissive sometimes. And so she is submissive with other men.

Some quick background info, and please feel free to contact me if you have further questions or would like more specific answers: We are married with children and are quite happy. We explored the swinger and poly worlds before having kids and the kids are now old enough that we’re getting back into it. Both in our late 30′s, I work in IT and she is a freelance writer.

We are actively auditioning men to be bulls. She had a regular one but he moved away, now she has two that she’s seeing but both are married (the wives know) and so her time with them is limited.

1. I enjoy watching her live out her fantasies and desires. I love to see how much enjoyment and pleasure she can recieve from another man/woman. I love seeing my wife just let go and give into her wants and become a “slut” for another more well endowed man. The whole thing being dirty and taboo is something we both like. For us it’s a break and retreat from the mondane day to day activities of life.

2. She likes to be submissive and I also enjoy it. We haven’t have found a real dominant guy though. I do get off on the humilarion that another man is pleasing my wife, and often due to how endowed he is, better then I can.

3. She definatly thinks of herself as submissive.

about us: We are both in our mid twenties and have been married for 5 years. We currently have 2 children and have been playing for about 7-8 yeats. We have done mfm, fmf, and mfmf and it seems eaiser and I really enjoy watching her with another guy and of course she enjoys it too.

feel free to contact us with any other questions

I posted my answers on a new blog I started – strongly inspired by you, Jinxy — so I’d love you to check and discuss things here and there.

My blog is http://updownbackagain.blogspot.com and deals with my life as being a “dominant versatile switch” involved with cuckolding, hotwifing etc.

Here is the text with my answers to Anglas questions:

(1) what is it about cuckolding that makes you hot?

Well – basically I would say “everything” – though I always think of cuckolding as more of a play than “reality”. Which means that I can imagine the scenario(s) being extended for some period of time – but always based on a mutual understanding and communication on an eye-to-eye-level.
This can be compared very well with a “24/7″-DS-relationship (like my wife and I basically have, me being the dominant part). It sure is not always canes, punishment, torture, obedience, rituals etc. – especially since we don’t live together at this time. There is always a great need for “communicative calibration” on an eye-to-eye-level – AND you very often experience a collision of needs: the sub WANTING to be told what to do and to be led AND wanting to have HER ways at the same time.
Maybe some of you know that dilemma – and I think it may be the like with cuckolding when you go deeper into it.
Still, for me I love the play and the idea of having my wife fuck other guys, showing and using her attractiveness, her smile and her body, watching her or having her tell me what she and her lover(s?) did while she teases me and plays with me and acts as a self-assured woman who knows I love her and loves me too.

(2) what part (if any) does humiliation play in this for you?

Not a big part – I like some playful humiliation, more like a dance. Though there are some storys and scenarios I read/saw that are quite hot. In our relationship, acting like that would be harder on my wife since she tends to take those things more seriously (unless she is absolutely horny and in full force which I’d love her to be more often – just let go, darling! )
From my reading about it, cuckolding is often put together with femdom, as it can be part of the Dom/sub dynamic for some couples.

(3) Do any of you who enjoy cuckolding think of themselves as a submissive, or is this idea off track?

No I don’t think of myself as a submissive. That – for me – is the most interesting part and one of the reasons I started this blog: I love the cuckolding idea and plays and some deeper thoughts that come with it (I am sure I will get to that later) and I am not a submissive. But I can and sometimes love to act as one since that seems to make me more “whole” as a person.

Jinxy may tell me otherwise, but I couldn’t find a way to respond to you each personally, so I’ve had to do it in one post: Thank you everyone for your considered and thoughtful answers.

I could be wrong here, but my continued impression is that folks who enjoy non-mainstream sex (other stuff as well as cuckolding,) all seem to be well educated professionals with good jobs and good incomes,(and it may be just me, but many of you I have met are also in IT.

Cuckbuck: you make a very interesting point about the power when you say . ‘I guess it’s the power exchange that is most provocative for me, being taken out of my element and challenging my comfort zone’. From my reading on D/s this is the core element and for those that get it right, they believe that giving away power ultimately makes them better at handling power, and I would think it takes a very secure person to be able to do that. Could I ask how long you have been married and what age group you fall into?

Massfuncpl: wow, you guys started young You say your wife thinks of herself as submissive, I’m curious as to why she wouldn’t feel the powerful one, given she is the Cuckoldress,. Or did I misunderstand and instead you mean she thinks of herself as submissive in her relationship with you? Or is it like Hotwfiecouplemidwest that cuckolding gives her the opportunity to enjoy her submissive side with a dominant bull, when her day to day life is to be a more powerful/dominant personality in your own lives?

Thomas – vielen Dank, meinen Familie sprechen Deutsch, ich nicht so gut, aber…:-). I have joined your blog and look forward to hearing more about your life. I would like to ask you some more questions regards the comment about the sub wanting to be led but having her way at the same time, for another section I am writing regards submissives per se, so I’ll post to your blog on that. If you have the opportunity could you also share your age and the type of profession you are in?

hotwifecouplemidwest: you’ve noted that your wife is definitely the submissive. Can I explore this a little more….My question around the cucks feeling submissive was the idea that the women had the power and that in some relationships cuckolding was the way that the women demonstrated their power in the way of a dom/sub scenario. But interestingly you say sleeping with bulls gives her an outlet to be submissive, as she is the more dominant one in the day to day relationship- when she surrenders her power for a period of time by being sexually submissive to a bull, does that in some way help your own relationship? I know you say it allows her that outlet, but what about you, do you enjoy getting the power back from seeing her submissive?

And Gentlemen one more question to all of you, would I be right in assuming you have all brought up cuckolding to your wives, or did the wives express the interest to begin with?

Thank you again for your generosity in sharing. Rest assured that any quotes from your good selves will be anonymous and I intend using the names you have used on Jinxy’s site – tell me if you want me to use something else. My plans for this research are: an article in the Australian Counselling Journal (once published I will give to Jinxypie to post on her blog) and for this to be a section in my book which should publish this year, and again the lovely Ms Jinxy will have those details to share with you on her website..
thank you again, Angela

Hi Angela,

thanks for showing interest and joining/following my blog! I’d alaso love to hear from you and your opinion on my subject(s)!

As for my profession and age: I am turning 49 in a couple of weeks and work in a media management position in the internet. So this and my 2 kids and some sports keep me pretty young

Per your question on who brought the subject up. Yes, it was me. And there is still some way to go and I don’t know where the road leads. With us, I think it’s more of the hotwife thing with a shot of cuckolding, so-to-say.

Thank you for your response Angela.

My wife and I are both in our early to mid 30s. We will have been married for 9 years this summer and together for 13. I also work in an IT position.

I too have a blog that highlights my experiences @ http://www.cuckbuck.wordpress.com.

Thanks for the interest.

CB

Hi Angela,

Being submissive is also important for cuckolds. Watching my wife with other well-endowed men is an extremely sexy turn-on for me, and for her too… and we don’t really like sissy-domination… just the wonderful pleasure of sissy gets to play with herself as a sissy while my wife is being satisfied completely.

And, yes… creampies are important too… that’s where sissy gets to have her part as well with my wife. I love it… she loves it.

all the best,
sissyDonna

She has always been submissive and enjoys being so. I brought up the subject and genreally I find the men. At first she did it to fulfill my fantasies and then she found she enjoyed it. She really likes when another guys is a little dominate and loves to just give in and please them completely. This is extremely hot for me to see cause she does things for them that she doesn’t for me or does them much more willingly.

I would just like to point out the assumption about being in the IT field may not be correct. Although I agree with the more imtelligient and “professional” type. I herd that the top two professions for being in the lifestyyle is law enforcment and educators. Now I agree with the intelligient, well educated part because this type of activity brings a lot of mental stimulation, which I find I crave. But you might be finding a lot in the IT profession because of the venue you are searching for partcipants. I know from my work with law enforcment, a lot of the guys couldn’t use a computer to save thier life so they obviously wouldn’t be online and most also, would admit to this lifestyle. And obviously educators must use extra discreation I think going foward there will be a broader spectrum of people online because my generation can type faster then write, and I don’t know what i’d do without a computer but alot of more “seasoned” participants in this lifestlye may never really be on a computer. Just a thought.

If you have any questions, or want to contact ma personally feel free to at massfungrl@gmail.com

Angela,
I guess I am a bit different from the average cuckold. I am in my mid 50s, have been married for going on 33 years. My wife has been cuckolding me for about 15 years now. This wasn’t something I fantasized about or had any real knowledge of. We didn’t discuss it.

You could say she started by cheating on me although we have never considered it cheating. We have a very egalitarian marriage. We are married and choose to stay together because we want to, not for the kids or financial or church or any other reason. I don’t own her and I don’t dictate who she can see, what she can spend or who she sleeps with.

From the same standpoint she doesn’t control or dominate me. The first half of our marriage was very traditional very straight laced, monogamous. That is what we were both raised to believe marriage was supposed to be like. My wife was a high school cheerleader, very outgoing, super friendly and sexually active at a very young age. She had always been attracted to very atheletic, macho stud…very much the Bull type. I was and am a geek and a nerd, quiet reserved..certainly not submissive, not underendowed but laid back and go with the flow type. Our sex life was good but not the passionate explosive sex she was used to.

After 15 years she wanted something more and she had the courage to go out and get it. At first it was a behind the back without my knowledge type thing. She found a guy who was really great in bed everything I wasn’t. So she came and told me our marriage had changed. It wasn’t a discussion, wasn’t a debate or an ultimatum. She had a lover..she didn’t want a divorce..wanted a marriage with me and a lover on the side. I could accept it or not but she was very clear monogamy and exclusivity was not an option.

It took me a while to come to terms with it. I never for an instance doubted her love for me or her commitment to our marriage to our family. And there was absolutely no denying how much pleasure and joy she received from her lover.

Our daughters were unaware of the situation for some time but they noticed how much happier and contented Mom was.

For me that has been the biggest turn on, seeing my wife come home from a visit with her lover literally glowing. She has a look and smile on her that I just can’t feel anything but elation for her.

I know I am first in my wife’s heart, her best friend her confidant..the one she turns to for comfort and support…the one she relies on the one she wants to wake up next to in the morning. I also know that when she is horny and really needs to get laid, that I am definitely not her first choice.

Good luck in your research and feel free to contact me at anytime
rphil815@yahoo.com

@ rphil815: that is a very nice story to me – very honest and “that’s-the-way-it-goes”, full of love and maturity!
Thanks for sharing!

Thomas

Thanks everybody once again for your generousity in reply.

@CB – I have been to have a look at your blog (very comprehensive!), I’m looking forward to reading it more fully.

@sissyDonna, thanks so much for joining the conversation. Thanks for mentioning creampies, because I want to talk some about them. I know not all of you are into it, but those that are seem to really enjoy it. Where does this leave cucks and the wives in relation to safe sex and worries about health. I know ads specify healthy bulls, but there’s a limit to knowing if someone is carrying STDS or HIV. Can someone, Donna maybe, explain a bit more about this? (Donna could I maybe get an email address from you (or if you don’t want to put it up here, email me angemlewis@hotmail.com or my work address on my website), as I would like to go off topic and talk about being a sissy with you, as I would like very much like to get your perspective on forced fem, sissification etc.

@massfuncpl, I went off in search of some data regards education levels and employment re cucks, and you are right in that there are a reasonable number in law enforcement and education (why do you think that is by the way?? Would it be too simple to say those folk are always in control regards their work and being a cuck puts you out of control? ), the survey done by cuckyboys.com, in which he polled 289 men found that the highest percentage were IT, followed by retail/sales, then engineering, then Education, then health Care, followed by Law enforcement. So your guess at education a law enforcement is right in that they both fell in the high bracket. The survey is interesting, if anyone wants to take a look over at http://www.cuckyboys.com. Thanks for your email addy too, I will hang onto it.

@phil815, thank you too for sharing, as Thomas says, your story is full of love and maturity. My personal feeling is the longer you have been with a person the more willing you are to put their happiness before your own. I know when I was younger I would have been off in a flash (and was!) when my first husband made choices I didn’t agree with, but now I am more about the needs and happiness of my partner. This thing I was reading also at cuckboys says there are 3 types of cucks:
Traditional cuckold (found out his wife was cheating, then took on the lifestyle)
Non-traditional cuckold (talked his wife into it)
Feb or Wimp cuckold (enjoys the humiliation of not being man enough to handle his wife, enjoys being made to wear panties etc).
So your story would put you in the traditional cuckold category.
Have a lovely weekend everybody and thanks again,
Angela

(1) what is it about cuckolding that makes you hot?

At first I just wanted to hear about my wife with someone who could please her and to hear how wonderful she felt. I believe she has only had two or three bulls, but since we started the cuckholding she has become more dominant, more self-assured and more beautiful. We both love it and it has saved our marriage. Something was missing and now, I can see that she is happier being in charge of her sexuality. And that all makes me hot for her.

(2) what part (if any) does humiliation play in this for you?

I guess humiliation is a part. I don’t really like too much, but do enjoy her calling me her sissy, bitch or pussy. In the real world–work–I am dominant and controling–probably too much so. The humiliation seems to relax me and let me express myself as the submissive one. Humiliation seems to me to be an extension of being submissive.

(3) Do any of you who enjoy cuckolding think of themselves as a submissive, or is this idea off track?

I used to be always the dominant and never the submissive. We had problems in our marriage and cockholding has allowed us to become closer. Seems strange. I have become submissive and I enjoy the feelings. It is a great relief from the daily grind.

We have been married for over 20 years. She tried to cockhold me in the first year, but I resisted. About two years ago, I began begging her to try it again. She resisted, but finally allowed it to unfold. It may not work for all relationships, but it has saved our marriage when it was beginning to get “same old, same old.”

@renatesuzi, thanks so much for joining the discussion and sharing your feelings. As others have said too, it takes courage to take a relationship in a different direction and faith that it is strong enough to weather the changes, kudos to you both!

kind regards
Ange

Hi Angela

My wife has been cheating for a long time. I found out about it and was initially incredibly hurt. But by the third time I found out I had somehow developed a taste for her cheating! I think of it as an ‘eroticised fear’. the sensation of knowing she was cheating was awful to begin with but it was always mixed in with an intense emotional buzz. I guess the hurt diminished over time, though it’s never gone completely, and the buzz remained.

I’m definitely submissive. I think this may be because I’m very under-endowed so it’s hard to feel really manly. I also have to admit that I’m not a great lover, as my size gives me performance anxiety from time to time and I also struggle to last very long because I need a lot of stimulation to get going, thanks to my performance anxiety! I think this is all par of the reason I’ve become more accepting of my wife’s cheating, as I know I’ve never been able to satisfy her.

My wife sometimes plays dominant games with me – I get spanked on a regular basis and my she has definitely grown more enthusiastic about this. I don’t think she was naturally dominant to begin with but she certainly seems to be now. A recurrent game we play is that I will get spanked if I don’t perform well in bed, and this is always accompanied by teasing about my size and performance.

She has always been very reluctant to share any details of her affairs, but she has started to open up recently. I’m currently reeling from last Saturday night when she gave me more detail than ever before about a few days she spent with a lover.

I’m 37, well-educated, in a high-paying job in finance. I only had one previous girlfriend before my wife and she also cheated on me. I never got the same kick out of that – possibly because we broke up before my taste for cuckolding had time to develop.

For me, it is the intense stomach-churning sensation of being humiliated that compensates for the sense of unhappiness and jealousy – or perhaps they’re just part of the same thing and I react in two completely separate ways to the same stimulus – with jealousy, pain, and also intense arousal. It’s because of this that being teased and mocked for my inadequacies plays such a strong part.

Hi Angela, i’m a cuck from Melbourne, Australia…look forward on seeing this article of yours when its published…can you let us know which one and when?

As far as why i’m happiest when i’m cuckolded not too sure…but i have always been very attracted to “easy” women and have thing for humiliation as well… i am also bi and submissive and am fairly underendowed…not so much in length, but very much so in girth, which i have found over the years quite difficult to get a woman to reach orgasm through intercourse.

So, i think the fetish found me in a way.

I have always been like this, but it didnt all fall into place till i discovered the ins and outs of the lifestyle on the internet…i didnt even know it had a name.

After reading most cuckold attributes…i had finally found who i was in a sense.

In persuing the lifestyle…i have had partners be with other men, not always with my knowing, but after seeing my ex’s/partner climax with other men when i had never been able to achieve that for them…it just seemed automatic for me and in a sense fits me like a glove.

I am currently with a new partner of 2 years, and have put things on hold through starting a family…but the day i met her, i came out straight away and told her i’m bi and a cuckold…after explaining what one was and showed her the scene really exists on the net…she was more than happy with the set up, especially knowing cucks stay monogamous.

So hopefully in the near future we will find a friend/bull to explore this together.

Am happy to ask any questions if i can
help.

BTW i’m 43yo, and a graphic designer based in Melbourne as i said.

Cheers

Slinky

Angela,

Great project! I have had some experience as a cuck, with girlfriends, as I have never been married – for obvious, physical reasons I will reveal. In answer to your questions:

(1) what is it about cuckolding that makes you hot?

There are a couple reasons I get hot. The main reason is the real pleasure I get seeing my woman sexually pleased and satisfied when I know I personally cannot do that for her. The second is that I can easily imagine some guy’s huge cock and balls belong to me when she is fucking her, they are my huge bullocks. Why so? I am a tall guy with a small penis, less than 4 inches when erect, if I can get it up at all. When I was a teen I lost my left testicle, almost lost both of them, while playfully exposing myself to a group of teenage girls.

(2) what part (if any) does humiliation play in this for you? From my reading about it, cuckolding is often put together with femdom, as it can be part of the Dom/sub dynamic for some couples.

Yes, I enjoy femdom scenarios. Humiliation also, I that seems to make me much more aroused, giving me an erection (however small lol) when normal sex generally does not. Women have always teased me about my Lonenut and Stubby, and I have learned to enjoy that as I see it really please them, makes them laugh. I love to hear women laugh, a shocked squeal, or an amused Ewwww! And if I don’t have the genitals to sexually satisfy a woman, I do have the tools to make them laugh and giggle. That is fun! For more on me, you can research my Flickr.com site;my name on there is Lonenut&Stubby.

(3) Do any of you who enjoy cuckolding think of themselves as a submissive, or is this idea off track?

Women rule! But I think I am not totally submissive, as I have agreed to being a willing, participating wittol. It is better than being just cheated on, unknown or known. I have been a cuck with three women over my life. No woman has considered having me as a husband … for life, yet. I am in my 50s.

(1) what is it about cuckolding that makes you hot?

Its not that cuckolding makes me hot – its more that i beleive its the natural relationship for me. I see it almost like a form of sexuality – gay people are attracted to gay people, straights are attracted to straights and submissive men who cant satisfy a Womans sexual needs are attracted to Dominant Women who desire multiple partners. Its taken me many years to reach this point. I do not beleive im worthless, i am a normal male who has no problems in attracting Women, the problem comes in the bedroom. I am slightly under the average size (5 inches) but i simply cannot maintain erections (even with viagra) long enough to have sex. All my relationships have fizzled out, most of them because i couldnt not make love to my partner. Even so, i was always at my happiest with my head between the thighs of a Woman performing oral worship. Its hard to explain but i get a great sense of calm and satisfaction from making a Woman orgasm with my tongue. None of my ex partners could ever understand how this would satisy me, they didnt get why i didnt want an orgasm in return. For me it was simple, when i was in bed with a Woman all i wanted was for Her to forget about my penis and let me concentrate on Her happiness.
In the 6 years since my last relationship ive gone from hating my limp dick, to developing a fetish for SPH, to becoming a panty addict, sissy and here i am now, actually happy with my penis as I really want to be a cuck.

(2) what part (if any) does humiliation play in this for you?

Oh it definitely plays a part. I dont hate myself or think im worthless but if by humiliating myself i can give pleasure to a Woman then i get very turned on by doing it. I love it when Women find small limp penises amusing and im more than happy to try and make them laugh – i like the idea that my penis can give Women some pleasure, even if its not by penetration! However, if my dreams of being cucked come true and the Woman did not want to even see my penis, then i would concede to Her wishes.

(3) Do any of you who enjoy cuckolding think of themselves as a submissive, or is this idea off track?

Im extremely submissive. Ive always been in awe of Women, i think it comes from the fact my parents divorced when i was young so i grew up with my mother and sister so developed a respect for Females. i do beleive in Female superiority but im no doormat. i will argue my corner but at the end of the day will concede to my partners wishes. The satisfaction i get from making Women happy fulfills my every need – even performing simple tasks for online Mistresses ive met gives me a huge sense of contentment. i know that i will be so happy serving and worshipping a Cuckholdress. Again im not a doormat and i dont have low self esteem, i just want to make the Women in my life as happy as possible. Because i would love this Woman i would want Her to receive the sexual satisfaction i cannot provide so would be delighted for Her to take on lovers. i wouldnt be jealous or resentfull of them at all, why would i be? They would be making the Woman i love happy so i would be gratefull to them. In fact, because ive never seen any of my partners in the throws of sexual passion, i would love to see a stud take my Wife to heights of pleasure – what a great thing to witness!
If you would like to know more, i would be happy to go into further detail

oh my email address is sissy_danielle19@yahoo.co.uk (did i mention i love dressing in lingerie? one of the reasons im happy to have a limp little dick is the exquisite sensation of encasing it in frilly, satiny panties).

Dammit im in a forgetfull mood today, so sorry Angela! Forgot to answer your other question. Im 38, single and most definitely looking to be a cuck. Its not a fantasy, its my aim. Ive actually turned down dates with women who seem submissive or who i suspect would not be into cucking. i also work in IT.

Jinxypie…

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