JUST JINXY

Hi Jinxy,

This is a topic that I have been thinking about lately, too. I’m sixty-two and my Wife/Cuckoldress is forty-one. We’ve been active in kink since we started living together almost nineteen years ago. Cuckolding came later, say maybe eleven years ago.

Like you, I was born and raised in the deep south, Georgia and North Carolina. My folks weren’t particularly religious but they were very conservative, prudish, and controlling.

After fucking up two marriages with my inability to come to terms with the contradictions in the talk I talked and the walk I walked, I decided that honesty was the best policy and the way my partner (if I ever had one again) and I chose to live our lives together was our business.

Fortunately, I met Em. Being younger than me by so many years and being a “Valley Girl” from LA may have contributed to her willingness to explore with me.

There’s no question that our kinky sex life has contributed to keeping us happy and has enhanced our intimacy.

You’re right about younger people being more open. We’ve noticed that ourselves. When we started out, our choices seemed edgy and way out of the mainstream. Now, practices like cuckolding, though still a little on the alternative side have become porn categories and popular themes in erotica. There are groups that will arrange gangbangs with hung black guys for any MILF with an urge to see if once she goes that way if she’ll ever come back. In other words, what was once daring and way out of the norm has become a lifestyle choice that many couples at least fantasize about.

Best,

scott
Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse

Well I will admit, it was a bit difficult going from the online fantasy side of cuckolding to the reality part of it (always that whole, be careful what you wish for). But the reality has been fantastic! It has really augmented all three of our lives, all in different ways though, to the extent that I am so glad that we did this.
thanks!
Peter

Jinxy,

We are a 50+ couple, married for 18 yrs and think our openminded approach in our sex life has contributed greatly to the intensity of our love life – the two are not the same!

We have been involved in the BDSM scene our entire relationship and have evolved into cuckolding these past few years. Every year gets better!

One can only imagine how powerful a relationship can be until you experience what we have. If today’s younger generations keep developing a more open attitude their relationships can not help but benefit – GOOD FOR THEM………..

Hello Jinxy,

We live in California. I am a male/sub 55, my Mistress/Wife is Female 45. We live a 24/7 D/s, so-called Wife-led, FemDom lifestyle. I am a writer/teacher with a PhD education; Mistress has a Juris Doctorate and is a practicing attorney. We are also bi-racial – I’m white, Mistress is Black. We never really made a conscious decision to “let go” of our sexual inhibitions. Our relationship just emerged on its own, quite naturally. She has a dominant personality and is a good bit more assertive and perhaps even more intelligent than I. I’ve always felt comfortable being submissive to Her. Perhaps it was these very attributes that attracted us to each other in the first place. The dynamics of our marriage remain exciting, even after nearly 21 years. I love Her, trust Her, and absolutely adore Her!

We have never cuckolded. This is not really something that interests either of us (well, perhaps it interests me a little, purely as fantasy). I do believe, however, that if she ever stumbled upon a man who She wanted to be with, She would simply tell me and we would somehow deal with it. That’s just the way She is.

Yours is one of the more fascinating sites I’ve stumbled upon in recent months and have become a regular follower. You write well and your views appear to be well thought out. However, I find myself in respectful disagreement with the views you posted about the younger generation being more open than their predecessors.

Young people from almost any American generation have gone through a period of openess of mind, because they are still learning and assimilating knowledge that will later form more solid opinions. It’s well-known that younger voters are more liberal on social issues, particularly gay rights. I would argue that these people will probably become more conservative as time passes, because 18-29-year-olds simply aren’t yet settled in their views. As just one example, in the summer of 2009 the Zogby poll found that Barack Obama’s approval rating among 18-29-year-olds dropped by 18% in just one month, from July 24 to August 31. That is some seriously fickle support.

Since almost all generations are more open, and generally more liberal, during their youth, the way to discover how liberal a generation truly is would be to compare the thinking of that generation to the one immediately preceding: i.e. compare the younger persons liberalness to her/his parent’s liberalness when both were at the same age. Using this method, I believe the hands down winner for openness and liberal thinking is the Baby Boom generation.

I don’t know how old you are, but perhaps your own parents are Baby Boomers? And since, as you say, you are from the Bible belt, perhaps they are not now, nor have ever been, liberal thinkers. That may be an aberration of geography rather than generational. As a generation, Boomers were collectively the ones who turned convention on its ear and shocked their elders with liberal views on sex, drugs, gender roles, homosexuality, war, and a host of other issues. The views held by most teen Baby Boomers in the 1960s and 1970s shocked and appalled their parents, established religion, and those who valued established social norms. Did many Boomers mellow with age and become more conservative. Most definitely. But, as a now “older” generation, Boomers still hold substantially more liberal views than prior generations when those generations were in their 50s.

Sure, Generation Y may be tolerant of sex and race, but this could be attributed to the Boomers who led the way of tolerance and did not raise their children to be racist or fearful of sex. Interracial? I’m the Caucasian half of an inter-race coupling. Boomers are the generation who made it acceptable. I first began dating a Black Woman in college and my parents were completely horrified. The generation before me simply did not do such things. Sex? Boomers invented the concept of “Free Love” and decided the institution of marriage was no longer even necessary. You and your husband are married … an idea in itself more conservative than free love. Swingers? I’m amazed you’d not heard this much, because it’s been pretty popular for most of my lifetime. There is even an old movie about it – circa 1967, I think – called Bob, Carol, Ted & Alice.

And, I would further argue, when compared to the prior generation of Boomers, the new crop of college admittees may well be the least open/liberal thinkers in decades. Why? Several reasons come to mind.

First, Generation Y is the generation that has grown up completely wired to listen to authority through organized soccer, play dates, play groups, and other aspects of helicopter parenting. It has lead to an overall reduction in many social ills since 1982, but it has lead to a generation of sheep. While perhaps many Gen-Yers might scoff at copyright law & restrictions on marriage, they probably will be very happy with the Nanny state organizing their lives and yelling at the big mean kids that hurt their self-esteem.

Second, the omnipotence of liberal indoctrination by the Boomer generation has pushed a generation of young adults to the precipice of skepticism. What is the least cool thing to a young person? Almost certainly it is what was foisted upon them by their parents: Boomers were open and liberal, therefore being open and liberal is not quite as cool as it once was. It’s happened before. The vehement denials of God’s existence led a generation of Russians to flock to workshops on Christianity; the Tea Party movement and recent conservative victories may actually be the biggest conservative boomerang in a century–even among young adults.

As I see it, each generation subsequent to the Baby Boomer generation has become progressively more conservative. My Mistress/Wife is a Gen Xer and is a bit less liberal than I. Often when we disagree on an issue She jokingly dismisses my view as being born out of “that Hippie generation”; we have three children: the oldest in college, one in high school, and youngest still a toddler. Our college age child is the more liberal of the bunch, his younger brother actually scares me with how conservative he is. Our toddler we still have high hopes for. Lol

Aside from disagreeing with you on this issue, however, I am thrilled that you and your husband are pursuing a lifestyle that excites you both and makes you feel alive. I’m enjoying reading about it. Keep up the wonderful work. I plan to visit your site over and over again.

@mishe,

I’m certainly not going to challenge your credentials and well-reasoned rebuttal of Jinxy’s opinion regarding the sexual liberation of the current crop of young adults.

But my experience leads me to believe that younger people don’t hold the sanctity of marriage in very high esteem. Divorce rates are still quite high throughout all age groups in the USA. I feel this is a direct result not only of the legal ease with which marriages can be dissolved as compared to the generations prior to the Boomers (of which I’m a proud 62 year-old early semi-retiree collecting my social security and otherwise coasting on past glory) but also because young people today have observed the conjugal disasters of their parents at much closer range than perhaps we did. They understand that sex is only one aspect of building a solid foundation in a marriage and so are less likely to scuttle the whole endeavor by overburdening themselves with traditional fidelity.

My Wife/Mistress is 41 but back in school for a career-change with people ranging in age close to mine and as young as 21 or so. Everybody seems to have loosened up sexually.

I know there are folks in places like Salt Lake City and Mobile that still cleave to the old ways but honestly, given the number of fallen televangelists, I think Kinsey got it right. People may stand on whatever moral soapbox they choose but the only thing that really counts is what they are actually doing.

To me, it’s more about what we feel for each other than specific things we do. I think the growing interest in polyamory reflects this. Cuckolding is just the bastard child of poly and swinging.

I don’t disagree with your view that we get more conservative as we get older. But very few of us are blindly obeying autocratic patriarchs anymore. Everybody questions everything and we are still a rapidly changing iconoclastic culture.

Best,

scott
Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse

Thought i’d take a minute to add in here one reason being I didn’t see anyone in my age range here.  The wife is 24 i’m 27 and we have been enjoying other people in the bedroom for about 7 years now.  More recently it has really turned into just adding another guy for her.

We have never really run into any issues with people are age.  They seem intrigued but never treated differently or negatively.  On the flip side older people seem to have a harder time wrapping their heads around it but still never anything negative coming from it.  I think a lot of that also has to do with living in a very liberal area.

And to answer Jinxy’s question I think this has helped us explore sexually and made us closer.  It’s also an outlet to blow of steam and kinda go against the norm and do things our way.