What’s the difference?

What do you see as the difference between cuckolding and hotwifing? In my opinion, the hotwife lifestyle is more of a husband watching and wanting his woman to have sex with as many people as she desires. No humiliation, no angst, just the hotness that is an insatiable woman enjoying the physical pleasures of other men. He also probably has sex with her just as much as she’s fucking other guys! A cuckolding lifestyle is very similar to the hotwifing lifestyle in regards to the woman having as much sex as she wants, but the feelings of angst can be strong, humiliation is usually there on some level, and sometimes there are other fetishes such as chastity or interracial or feminization thrown in the mix. Cuckolds don’t always have the privilege of having sex with their Cuckoldress, either.

Do couples start at one end and progress to the other? Sometimes. I’ve had quite a few folks tell me that they started off on the hotwifing end of this, then it evolved into a cuckolding situation. I don’t really have anyone that has told me they went the reverse direction, but I have spoken to a number of cucks that are still allowed sex with their partner, when and if his Cuckoldress says so.

I read somewhere on a message board, “If you can still call the shots and ‘put the genie back into the bottle’, it’s a hotwife scene. If she rules her sex life, you’re a cuck.” To some extent, that’s true. I think regardless, it’s difficult to cork the genie. Once this door has been opened, it’s hard to forget about. If you’ve been having incredible sexual experiences why give it up? I think that’s part of the reason some hotwife couples end up cuckolding instead.

Enough of MY thoughts, what are yours? What separates a hotwifing couple from a cuckolding couple? Have you, or someone you know, went from one end of this to the other?

  • scott Kelly

    Hi Jinxy,

    I’d say your spin on it is basically the same as ours. We think it’s about the wife having freedom to explore her sexual desires with others while the cuck is expected to remain loyal to her and significantly chaste. There’s a lot of room in there for individualizing the specifics.

    With Em and I there is a significant amount of BDSM. We consider ours a wife-led-marriage further defined as Owner/property. Basically the power dynamic is tipped in her favor. We’ve worked continually toward that end for all of our twenty years together.

    Like you, we are parents and so maintain a veneer of vanilla. But just beneath the surface, it’s anything but.

    Best,

    scott
    Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse.

  • Russ

    I don’t believe there is a difference, (6 one way half dozen the other) some folks don’t like the thought of being considered a “Cuckold” they equate it to homosexuality.
    I believe Cuckoldry has many different levels where you land on the scale is up to you and your partner. From being simply Pussy whipped & wife making all the decisions to the very hard core extremes ……. So yes wife sharing is a form of Cuckolding like it or not

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_Q66MOBYC3CLTPD5GYEUIWLZRHU Thickready1974

    I don’t think there is a black and white difference between cuckolding and hotwifing. Both have the same premise of the wife sleeping with another man or men that isn’t her husband. There is no one fast rule that says if this is done then you are a cuckold couple or if that is done then you are a hotwife couple.

    But in my endevours in chatting with and meeting up with and playing with other couples. One thing I have noticed with a cuckold couple. The cuckoldress tends to be more in charge over who she will sleep with. Also a cuckoldress would be more likely to find a lover and not ask her husband for his permission. While a hotwife might be more inclined to get her husbands approval.

  • junior

    The definitions between cuckolding and hotwifing have been blurred a lot since the emergence of the cuckold phenomenon. A lot of people weigh in on what is their idea of the definitions of both, but, as said previously, they are technically the same thing.

    Having said that, the practice seems to have broken up into two camps obviously. And there isn’t a concrete boundary separating the two. I think the general consensus of modern day cuckolding vs hotwifing goes along the lines of what you have said. The cuckold scenario involves the wife in control of the situation and in control of her husband. The hotwifing scenario involves a married couple either on an even level as peers or a husband dominated level if only slightly.

  • Transa Voyeur

    The problem with cuckolding is more on the female side. The male for some reason “re-wire” its way of thinking into this cuckolding mode. Sometimes it is a hidden secret from his wife or sexual partner for years. When they tell them most of the ladies think that cuckolding is a very weird behavior. Some will be willing to try out, but also but they with think of this as a very strange request, even much more strange than cheating. Only special few will engage on a long term cuckolding relationship. I think maybe there is an expected way of behavior expected by the wife and depending on how the husband cuckold behaves is what matters to its wife to remain living this fantasy. Although she knows it is good for her to have lovers, it is bad for her marriage to think of her husband as a cuckold. So here is my question for Jinxy. What would be an expected cuckolding behavior for the cuckold husband in order to keep his wife in the lifestyle?

  • Missi

    I concur with the distinction you draw. I am definitely a cuckold and have not been allowed sex, other than oral, with my wife for over a year. I never expected it would work out this way but she is dominant and it seems natural for me to be her maid.

  • wrmr987

    The hotwife/cuckold dichotomy is basically semantics. Either case, the wife is unfaithful and hubby is cuckolded. Hotwife – to me – is a smart woman who capitalizes on her sexual freedom by providing escort or related services for financial gain. Regardless, hubby generally and gradually loses the control and respect of his wife over time. Like you stated, once the genie is freed… It follows the hotwife to cuckold path; never vice-versa. Hubby eventually becomes a “friend WITHOUT benefits”. Sooner rather than later, hubby is cut off from some – if not all – aspects of wife’s sex life.

    Some couples live happily ever after in this setup. Others…

    #

  • RL

    I know that this post is a little old, but I’ll comment in case anyone is still following it.

    My wife and I have discussed the possibility of her having other lovers, not because we aren’t good in bed together. I’m very much able to satisfy her. Also, we have no interest in any sort of humiliation or domination angle, or any of the other fetishes that might be associated with cuckolding. We are interested in perhaps having a somewhat open relation just because we find the idea a turn-on. Maybe I am wrong, but I think that it is things like this which separate cuckolding from a hotwife situation.

  • Rusty

    I believe it is ALL cuckolding just to differant degrees

  • Russ

    I don’t like the “Unfaithful” part of your discription We know she is fucking other men so she is “Faithfully fucking others”

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