What does it take?

I’ve been dwelling on something for a couple of weeks.  I came across this question on a forum, and wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget.  What does it take to have a healthy and stable relationship/marriage (that includes cuckolding)?

You search online for terms like “healthy relationship” and “healthy stable marriage” and you’ll find advice columns and numbered lists out the wazoo.  While some of those points are universal, you would expect them to be geared towards more vanilla or non-kinky relationships.  I think there are some we can say also apply to the kinky couples, if you twist your head sideways and look at it differently.

In order to have a successful and happy relationship, you must first build it on respect and appreciation for each other.  I think this is a great point. You really shouldn’t start immediately with cuckolding the second you start a relationship.  Take some time, get to know each other, and build this up from the ground. I would be honest in regards to your desires to explore sexually, and even if you’re comfortable enough to start talking about cuckolding from the beginning that’s great!  I wouldn’t try to focus on that though, really take an interest in your partner and learning about what makes them tick.

After that foundation is built, it’s important to explore.  Learning what the other person likes or dislikes is a great way to learn more about them.  You may find that your Alpha male has a submissive streak, or your shy and quiet woman has always dreamed of a gangbang.  Exploring and discussing fantasies helps you to get a better idea of what your partner is turned on by.

Listen to your partner.  Learn from what they say.  This part is more than the exploring, this is really “hearing” the things that they don’t say, too.  You happened to bring up your fantasy of watching her with another guy and even though she says she wouldn’t be able to go through with it, she’s incredibly turned on and rockin’ your world in the sack… sounds like she likes the idea, even if she hasn’t verbalized it.

I know I may not live my cuckolding lifestyle like you or the next fifteen people, but because I have a lot of respect for my husband, we really listen to each other, and pay attention to what the other is into, I believe we have a pretty stable relationship… healthy, even!

Do you have any more items to add to this list?  What else do you think it takes to have a healthy and stable relationship/marriage that includes cuckolding?

  • scottEmmaKelly

    Hi Jinxy,

    I certainly agree with you. Building the foundation and having a happy, productive relationship is fundamental in any relationship, kinky or otherwise. And that should come first… maybe. Some folks who have a little life experience, probably some failures and disappointments, might be able to jump in immediately if they are self-aware enough and are both on the same page about cuckolding. But for the most part, I think it will take some time to work into.

    One heads up to the anxious guys who are struggling to find what they need: There isn’t really a formula to getting you there. There aren’t a series of steps. It’s something that evolves. Most important to me is that you find a partner with whom you are very compatible with and, it goes almost without saying, a person who is open to an active adventurous sex life.

    Best,

    scott
    Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse

  • HotwifeSarah

    Very well said Scott. It took a few sexually frustating months for my husband to even begin dropping hints about his cuckolding interest. Not to mention the akward conversations we shared leading up to that final moment he ‘fessed up. I think a lot of it has to do with, how you mentioned, the level of comfort between a married couple. A married couple may have ten years, like we do, and still struggle to find that inner secrets we fear to even shared with our most intimate partner.
    To answer the blog Jinxipie, I would say trust and communication are essential. A wife should be open to the idea that their loved one have doubts and fears, fantasies and kinks that they may be fearful of sharing. My husband dropped hints here and there, but it took initiative from the both of us, aside from listening to Jinxipie, to actually begin our cuckolding experience. We definitely have developed a closer bond, sharing our most private thoughts, whether cuckolding or interracial fetishes, that we never did before.

  • n2sunrise

    Married 15 years, roleplaying her cheating the first 7 and actually having Boyfriends the last 7. Once she gave it a shot she LOVED it, to the point that she strove to have 3 Boyfriend Dates in one week as a goal.
    It can take a long time, but once she KNOWS you’re cool with it, it can happen very Fast!

  • n2sunrise

    WOW
    Love it!

  • Sarah Greig

    In complete agreement, most of these alternative lifestyle begin at a slow pace, but with both partners in agreement to what they are looking for it can get heated in no time.

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